Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
