where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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