I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize