jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize