so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
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How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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