There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
PANTIES FOUND
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