In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
