I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
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Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
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I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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