Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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