While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize