I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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