is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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