Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I came so hard my ears popped.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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