in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I need water and some morals
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize