Need sex. Gaining weight.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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