her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
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Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
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I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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