I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize