If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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