I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She's the barista slut.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
