so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize