someone threw a dead crab at me
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
