love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
