I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize