Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
