just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
