when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
