3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize