he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
how drunk are you?
Several
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize