did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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