I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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