Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
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I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
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The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize