More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
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