I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Text me some of your sweat
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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