I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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