I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
