I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
