idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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