mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize