Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
