is your mom at the bar?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
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