Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.