Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Less talking, more tequila
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.