it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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