Your tits are I can't wait for
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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