Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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