it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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