you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
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This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
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I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm determined to sit on that face.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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