Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize