My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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