i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
