is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
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I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I need moral support for this bender
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
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MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.