ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.