I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"